About Me
- 雷雅穎
- I would rather go on wanting you and never have you.. than have you, and lose you... and spend the rest of my life wanting what I lost..
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
What's My Money Error Worth?
A sheet of paper is fed into the press where it passes between the master plate cylinder and a hard, smooth impression cylinder under pressures reaching 15,000 psi (1,034 bar). The impression cylinder forces the paper into the fine, engraved lines of the printing plate to pick up the ink, leaving a raised image about 0.0008 in (0.02 mm) above the paper. This process is repeated at a rate of about 10,000 sheets per hour.
The printed sheets are then stacked on top of each other. The backs are printed with green ink first and are allowed to dry for 24-48 hours before the fronts are printed with black ink.
After the printing process, the stacks are cut into two stacks of 10,000 sheets and are visually examined for defects. Each sheet is fed into a letterpress which prints the colored Treasury seal and serial numbers on the face of the bills. Sixteen serial numbers are printed at the same time. The press then automatically advances the numbers before the next sheet of sixteen is printed. The numbers on any sheet are separated by 20,000 between adjacent bills. Thus, the bill in the upper left-hand corner of the first sheet would be serial number 0000001 and the one below it on the same sheet would be 0020001, and so on. On the second sheet, all the numbers would advance by one giving 0000002 in the upper left, 0020002 below it, etc. In this manner, when the sheets are cut into separate stacks, the bills within each stack will have sequential serial numbers.
The finished sheets are inspected with machine sensors, and any printing errors, folded paper, inclusion of foreign objects, or other defects are identified. Any bills which are found to be defective are marked for later removal. Such bills are replaced with star notes which are numbered in a different sequence and have a star printed after the serial number.
Collecting currency errors is one of the most interesting area of paper money collecting, a hobby that can be pursued as easily as looking in your wallet or receiving change from a transaction. Even a severe paper money error may sometimes circulate for years before a knowledgeable collector finds it.
Sources:
http://money.howstuffworks.com/question703.htm
http://www.coinsite.com/html/uscurrencyerrors.asp
The printed sheets are then stacked on top of each other. The backs are printed with green ink first and are allowed to dry for 24-48 hours before the fronts are printed with black ink.
After the printing process, the stacks are cut into two stacks of 10,000 sheets and are visually examined for defects. Each sheet is fed into a letterpress which prints the colored Treasury seal and serial numbers on the face of the bills. Sixteen serial numbers are printed at the same time. The press then automatically advances the numbers before the next sheet of sixteen is printed. The numbers on any sheet are separated by 20,000 between adjacent bills. Thus, the bill in the upper left-hand corner of the first sheet would be serial number 0000001 and the one below it on the same sheet would be 0020001, and so on. On the second sheet, all the numbers would advance by one giving 0000002 in the upper left, 0020002 below it, etc. In this manner, when the sheets are cut into separate stacks, the bills within each stack will have sequential serial numbers.
The finished sheets are inspected with machine sensors, and any printing errors, folded paper, inclusion of foreign objects, or other defects are identified. Any bills which are found to be defective are marked for later removal. Such bills are replaced with star notes which are numbered in a different sequence and have a star printed after the serial number.
Collecting currency errors is one of the most interesting area of paper money collecting, a hobby that can be pursued as easily as looking in your wallet or receiving change from a transaction. Even a severe paper money error may sometimes circulate for years before a knowledgeable collector finds it.
Sources:
http://money.howstuffworks.com/question703.htm
http://www.coinsite.com/html/uscurrencyerrors.asp
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Humour: Doctors, Bankers, Accountants and Lawyers
A little old lady went into the headquarters of a large national bank one day, dragging a large bag behind her. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"
After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.
The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?"
The old lady replied, "I make bets."
The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"
The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."
"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"
The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"
The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?"
"Sure!" replied the confident president.
That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.
The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!"
The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.
"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."
Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the heck's the matter with your lawyer?"
"Nothing," she answered, "Except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00AM today, I'd have the president of this bank by the balls."
~*~
Three lawyers and three accountants got on the train in New York to go to a convention in DC. The three accountants bought a ticket each, but the three lawyers bought only one ticket between them. The accountants commented on the illegality of their action but the lawyers said, "Trust us -- we're lawyers."
When the conductor entered the end of the car to collect the tickets, the three lawyers got up and all went into the bathroom together. When the conductor knocked on the bathroom door, a hand shot out with the one ticket, which the conductor duly canceled.
On returning to their seats the three accountants expressed admiration for such a clever trick.
"Well," they said modestly, "we ARE lawyers."
After the convention they all entered Union Station for the return trip home to New York. This time the accountants bought one ticket between them, while the lawyers did not buy any tickets at all.
The accountants were amazed and said so.
"Trust us," the three said. "We're lawyers."
When the conductor arrived, the three accountants quickly jumped up and went into the bathroom. As soon as the door closed, the three lawyers got up and headed for the adjoining bathroom. As the last lawyer went by the accountant's bathroom, he knocked on the door. A hand shot out with the ticket, which the lawyer quickly grabbed before entering the other bathroom.
~*~
A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road.
The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.
"Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asked the doctor.
"Sure; after the police leave," replied the lawyer.
~*~
"You're a high-priced lawyer! If I give you $500, will you answer two questions for me?"
"Absolutely! What's the second question?"
~*~
A rather frugal man asked the bank for a loan of one dollar and was told he would have to pay nine percent interest at the end of the year. For security he offered $60,000. in U.S. bonds. The banker, foreseeing a potential depositor, accepted the bonds and gave the man a dollar. At the end of the year, he was back with a dollar and nine cents to clear up his debt and asked for the return of his bonds.
Upon returning the bonds the banker asked, "I don't want to be inquisitive, but since you have all those bonds, why did you have to borrow a dollar?" "Well," said the tightfisted old gent, "I really didn't have to. But do you know of any other way I could get the use of a safe-deposit box for nine cents a year?"
~*~
A guy drives into town in an expensive car and goes to a bank. He asks for a loan of $1000 as he is in town for a week and forgot any cash and doesn't have an ATM card. The bank says "OK, but you have to park your Porsche here as collateral". He does so, and at the end of the week he hands back the $1000 plus interest of $4 for a short term loan plus processing. Curious, the banker asks why he didn't just get a wire transfer, and the man replies "Where else could I park my car for $4 for a week?"
After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.
The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?"
The old lady replied, "I make bets."
The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"
The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."
"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"
The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"
The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?"
"Sure!" replied the confident president.
That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.
The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!"
The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.
"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."
Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the heck's the matter with your lawyer?"
"Nothing," she answered, "Except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00AM today, I'd have the president of this bank by the balls."
~*~
Three lawyers and three accountants got on the train in New York to go to a convention in DC. The three accountants bought a ticket each, but the three lawyers bought only one ticket between them. The accountants commented on the illegality of their action but the lawyers said, "Trust us -- we're lawyers."
When the conductor entered the end of the car to collect the tickets, the three lawyers got up and all went into the bathroom together. When the conductor knocked on the bathroom door, a hand shot out with the one ticket, which the conductor duly canceled.
On returning to their seats the three accountants expressed admiration for such a clever trick.
"Well," they said modestly, "we ARE lawyers."
After the convention they all entered Union Station for the return trip home to New York. This time the accountants bought one ticket between them, while the lawyers did not buy any tickets at all.
The accountants were amazed and said so.
"Trust us," the three said. "We're lawyers."
When the conductor arrived, the three accountants quickly jumped up and went into the bathroom. As soon as the door closed, the three lawyers got up and headed for the adjoining bathroom. As the last lawyer went by the accountant's bathroom, he knocked on the door. A hand shot out with the ticket, which the lawyer quickly grabbed before entering the other bathroom.
~*~
A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road.
The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.
"Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asked the doctor.
"Sure; after the police leave," replied the lawyer.
~*~
"You're a high-priced lawyer! If I give you $500, will you answer two questions for me?"
"Absolutely! What's the second question?"
~*~
A rather frugal man asked the bank for a loan of one dollar and was told he would have to pay nine percent interest at the end of the year. For security he offered $60,000. in U.S. bonds. The banker, foreseeing a potential depositor, accepted the bonds and gave the man a dollar. At the end of the year, he was back with a dollar and nine cents to clear up his debt and asked for the return of his bonds.
Upon returning the bonds the banker asked, "I don't want to be inquisitive, but since you have all those bonds, why did you have to borrow a dollar?" "Well," said the tightfisted old gent, "I really didn't have to. But do you know of any other way I could get the use of a safe-deposit box for nine cents a year?"
~*~
A guy drives into town in an expensive car and goes to a bank. He asks for a loan of $1000 as he is in town for a week and forgot any cash and doesn't have an ATM card. The bank says "OK, but you have to park your Porsche here as collateral". He does so, and at the end of the week he hands back the $1000 plus interest of $4 for a short term loan plus processing. Curious, the banker asks why he didn't just get a wire transfer, and the man replies "Where else could I park my car for $4 for a week?"
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Neo Angelique Abyss
Neo Angelique Abyss
26 episodes total; two seasons
Summary: Evil, life-draining demons called Thanatos plague Arcadia due to a lack of Purifiers, people who have the ability to fight and exterminate Thanatos. Angelique the main character is a sheltered girl who attracts the eye of Nyx, a Purifier who sees in her a possibility to bring peace to Arcadia.
Review:
Pros: pretty bishounen who cook and are charming and considerate
Cons: the plot meanders, the music is forgettable, Angelique is naive and a bit of an indecisive crybaby
Keywords: demons, bishounen, male harem
Rating:
3.5/10
Not a bad series but is disappointing in that the only unforgettable part is the bishounen
More info:
Anime news network
Wikipedia
Anime and Manga Categories
Shonen-ai: means, boy-love. It refers to anime and manga that focus on love and romance (as opposed to sex) between boys or men (typically bishōnen)
Yaoi: boys love/ any story that includes a male/male relationship and is linked to Japan
Shoujo: anime and manga aimed at girls (ex. romance- related Fruits Basket)
Josei: anime and manga aimed at mature women (significant proportion appears to fall under the category of "yaoi")
Shoujo-ai: features romantic ties between female characters, focuses on the relationship and often doesn’t contain any explicit material
Yuri: pornographic manga/anime featuring women with women
Shonen: anime and manga aimed at boys (ex. action- related Naruto)
Seinen: anime and manga aimed at mature men (tends to be more strongly rooted in reality, with many incidental details added to heighten the sense of realism and even fantasy elements being subject to a strong "realistic" logic)
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
FML its just not my day today
couldn't stop making errors, had a traffic snafu and want to hit something
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Inside Out -- eve 6 (running through my head)
I would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rinds,
but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside,
swallow my doubt
turn it inside out
find nothing but faith in nothing.
Want to put my tender heart in a blender,
watch it spin 'round into a beautiful oblivion.
Rendezvous, then I'm through with you
I burn, burn like a wicker cabinet,
chalk white and oh so frail.
I see our time has gotten stale.
The tick tock of the clock is painful,
all sane and logical.
I want to tear it off the wall.
I hear words in clips and phrases,
I think sick like ginger ale,
My stomach turns and I exhale.
I would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rinds,
But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside.
I would swallow my doubt,
turn it inside out,
find nothing but faith in nothing.
Want to put my tender heart in a blender,
watch it spin 'round into a beautiful oblivion.
Rendezvous, then I'm through with you.
SoCal is where my mind states,
but it's not my state of mind.
I'm not as ugly, sad as you.
Or am I origami?
Folded up and just pretend,
demented as the motives in your head.
I would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rinds,
but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside.
I would swallow my doubt,
turn it inside out,
find nothing but faith in nothing.
Want to put my tender heart in a blender,
watch it spin 'round into a beautiful oblivion.
Rendezvous, then I'm through with you .
I alone am the one you don't know you need
take heed, feed your ego.
Make me blind when your eyes close,
sink when you get close, tie me to the bedpost.
I alone am the one you don't know you need,
you don't know you need me.
Make me blind when your eyes close,
Tie me to the bedpost.
I would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rinds,
but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside.
Swallow my doubt,
turn it inside out,
find nothing but faith in nothing.
Want to put my tender heart in a blender,
watch it spin 'round to a beautiful oblivion.
Rendezvous, then I'm through,
now I'm through with you
through with you
rendezvous then I'm through with you..
I would choke on the rinds,
but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside,
swallow my doubt
turn it inside out
find nothing but faith in nothing.
Want to put my tender heart in a blender,
watch it spin 'round into a beautiful oblivion.
Rendezvous, then I'm through with you
I burn, burn like a wicker cabinet,
chalk white and oh so frail.
I see our time has gotten stale.
The tick tock of the clock is painful,
all sane and logical.
I want to tear it off the wall.
I hear words in clips and phrases,
I think sick like ginger ale,
My stomach turns and I exhale.
I would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rinds,
But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside.
I would swallow my doubt,
turn it inside out,
find nothing but faith in nothing.
Want to put my tender heart in a blender,
watch it spin 'round into a beautiful oblivion.
Rendezvous, then I'm through with you.
SoCal is where my mind states,
but it's not my state of mind.
I'm not as ugly, sad as you.
Or am I origami?
Folded up and just pretend,
demented as the motives in your head.
I would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rinds,
but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside.
I would swallow my doubt,
turn it inside out,
find nothing but faith in nothing.
Want to put my tender heart in a blender,
watch it spin 'round into a beautiful oblivion.
Rendezvous, then I'm through with you .
I alone am the one you don't know you need
take heed, feed your ego.
Make me blind when your eyes close,
sink when you get close, tie me to the bedpost.
I alone am the one you don't know you need,
you don't know you need me.
Make me blind when your eyes close,
Tie me to the bedpost.
I would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rinds,
but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside.
Swallow my doubt,
turn it inside out,
find nothing but faith in nothing.
Want to put my tender heart in a blender,
watch it spin 'round to a beautiful oblivion.
Rendezvous, then I'm through,
now I'm through with you
through with you
rendezvous then I'm through with you..
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
blurry - puddle of mudd (running through my head)
Every thing's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up
Preoccupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing?
Imagine where you are?
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it my face
Everyone is changing
There's no one left that's real
To make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
And you could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what your doing?
I wonder where you are?
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it my face
This pain you gave to me
Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you when to runaway
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you when to runaway
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it my face
This pain you gave to me
No this pain you gave to me
This pain you gave to me
You take it all
You take it all away
Explain again to me
You take it all away
Explain again to me
Take it all away
Explain again
Explain again
Explain again
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up
Preoccupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing?
Imagine where you are?
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it my face
Everyone is changing
There's no one left that's real
To make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
And you could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what your doing?
I wonder where you are?
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it my face
This pain you gave to me
Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you when to runaway
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you when to runaway
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it my face
This pain you gave to me
No this pain you gave to me
This pain you gave to me
You take it all
You take it all away
Explain again to me
You take it all away
Explain again to me
Take it all away
Explain again
Explain again
Explain again
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Georgia Aquarium: the world's largest aquarium
more than 8.1 million US gallons
more than 100,000 animals of 500 different species
built on a 20 acre (81,000 m²) site north of Centennial Olympic Park in downtown Atlanta
Funded mostly by a $250 million donation from Home Depot co-founder Bernie Marcus
The Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
This year, a record breaking 17,236 attended AB
Favorite AMV:
Video: Dedication
Category: Comedy, Other, Fun, etc. (+2)
Anime: Howl's Moving Castle, My Neighbor Totoro, Spirited Away, etc. (+1)
Song: Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, Frolicher Landmann, Peer Gynt Suite No 1-Morning, etc. (+1)
Artist: Mozart, Robert Schumann, Edvard Grieg, etc.
Creator: dokool (Third Lens Open Productions)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiW0mGVDXEo
Video: Dedication
Category: Comedy, Other, Fun, etc. (+2)
Anime: Howl's Moving Castle, My Neighbor Totoro, Spirited Away, etc. (+1)
Song: Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, Frolicher Landmann, Peer Gynt Suite No 1-Morning, etc. (+1)
Artist: Mozart, Robert Schumann, Edvard Grieg, etc.
Creator: dokool (Third Lens Open Productions)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiW0mGVDXEo
Monday, March 1, 2010
THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh. I see the f ***-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a sh*t.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a f****** people person to you?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
31. Oh I get it. Like humor…. but different.........
32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
41. Aren't you a black hole of need.
42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
44. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
45. If you have something to say, raise your hand.........then place it over your mouth.
46. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
47. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own.
48. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
49. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
50. You are as pretty as a picture, I'd really like to hang you.
51. Don't believe everything you think.
52. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh. I see the f ***-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a sh*t.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a f****** people person to you?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
31. Oh I get it. Like humor…. but different.........
32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
41. Aren't you a black hole of need.
42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
44. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
45. If you have something to say, raise your hand.........then place it over your mouth.
46. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
47. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own.
48. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
49. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
50. You are as pretty as a picture, I'd really like to hang you.
51. Don't believe everything you think.
52. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Things you (yes you Candice!) do that drives me nuts
Try to prove you’re the boss. “Do this because I said so” will neither cut the ice nor win you brownie points with your employees.
Shirk responsibility or transfer it to your employees just because they are not in a position to refuse you.
Forget that to motivate your people, you must first gain their respect and support.
Take credit for your employees’ work. Give credit where it’s due, otherwise, you end up taking away their motivation to work and losing the respect they have for you.
Fail to recognize/appreciate/reward work well done and tasks completed ahead of schedule.
Think you have to keep doing something all the time. You have to actually be productive, not just run around trying to look busy, while actually doing nothing useful. (SOME DAYS I DON’T SEE MORE THAN 10 PEOPLE)
Neglect long-term plans for growth in the course of dealing with short-term day-to-day tasks and problems. A company thrives on growth, not stagnancy. (SO TELL ME HOW DO I MAKE REFERRALS HAPPEN? WHAT AM I NOT DOING THAT YOU DO? HOW DO I DO IT? SHOW ME! I LIKE HAVING A JOB AND DOING IT WELL!)
Be critical without being constructive. If you chide your employees regarding a particular task, tell them not only what’s wrong, but also what has to be done to do things the right way.
Fire your employees and hide from them the reason for their dismissal. (IF YOU WANT TO FIRE ME FOR MOE I”LL TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THAT BUT I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THE REFERRAL NO EFFORT EXCUSE)
Undertake any endeavor without sufficient planning.
Neglect to provide continuous feedback about their work. (WHERE IS MY CONTINUOUS FEEDBACK?!? HOW DO I MAKE THAT SUCESSFUL REFERRAL? IF YOU KNOW WHAT I AM MISSING TELL ME!!! TELL ME SO I CAN IMPROVE!!! DON’T TELL ME WHAT I ALREADY KNOW. I KNOW I HAVENT MADE ANY NON-FAMILY NON-WALK-IN I WANT AN ACCOUNT REFERRALS)Waiting for an annual/biannual performance appraisal may not allow them to hone their skills and work on their negative aspects.
Neglect to follow up on delegated tasks. You are after all, responsible for seeing that they get done.
Deny your employees the basic (and not-so-basic) tools and gadgets needed to do their work efficiently. IT department heads are notorious for asking their employees to “get by” with the software they have presently, deeming an upgrade unnecessary. (How can I say with confidence to my customers, yes MINE because I deal with them everyday, when I don’t believe it or know it to be a fact?! And NO I will not lie to just give the branch referral credits I HAVE MORAL STANDARDS)
Base appraisal decisions on very recent performances. Take their overall service to the organization into account.
Suck up to your employees when you’re short-staffed or be arrogant with them when you don’t really care if they quit or not.
Snoop around your employees’ desks and personal paraphernalia.
WHAT MANAGERS DO THAT I ONLY CAN WISH YOU WOULD DO:
Take your employees into confidence in all issues that relate to them or the work they do. You’ll find that people work better when they have a sense of understanding and purpose to the job at hand.
Give your employees room to grow, both personally and professionally.
Practice what you preach. Don’t say one thing and do the exact opposite. If you expect your employees to be punctual, you have to make an effort to watch the clock too.
Invest time and effort in your people. You cannot run the show on your own. Nurture them, motivate them, and coax their best work out of them.
Be ethical in all your dealings.
Set standards for your employees to follow. You are their leader; what you do sets the precedent for them to follow.
Focus more on the strengths of your employees, not their weaknesses. The more you get them to improve their strengths, the more their weaknesses fade into the background.
Turn a blind eye at times to goings-on that are inconsequential to the work at hand. Ignorance is bliss sometimes.
Manager or no manager you respect people and never put them below you. Common decency is expected.
It’s rare that problems between managers and employees are caused by only one party. Think about it: What’s the likelihood that the employee was responsible for 100 percent of the performance issue? Almost always, ALWAYS the manager bears some responsibility. It may not always be 50/50, but leaders need to hold up the mirror and see how they have contributed to the situation. Before you place all the blame on the employee, consider the following:
•Have I provided both direction and support to this employee?
•Have I provided the tools and resources to allow this employee to be successful?
•Have I provided specific outcomes and results I’m looking for?
•Have I created an environment that promotes the behaviors I’m looking for?
•Have I tried positive consequences first, before negative or punitive actions?
Shirk responsibility or transfer it to your employees just because they are not in a position to refuse you.
Forget that to motivate your people, you must first gain their respect and support.
Take credit for your employees’ work. Give credit where it’s due, otherwise, you end up taking away their motivation to work and losing the respect they have for you.
Fail to recognize/appreciate/reward work well done and tasks completed ahead of schedule.
Think you have to keep doing something all the time. You have to actually be productive, not just run around trying to look busy, while actually doing nothing useful. (SOME DAYS I DON’T SEE MORE THAN 10 PEOPLE)
Neglect long-term plans for growth in the course of dealing with short-term day-to-day tasks and problems. A company thrives on growth, not stagnancy. (SO TELL ME HOW DO I MAKE REFERRALS HAPPEN? WHAT AM I NOT DOING THAT YOU DO? HOW DO I DO IT? SHOW ME! I LIKE HAVING A JOB AND DOING IT WELL!)
Be critical without being constructive. If you chide your employees regarding a particular task, tell them not only what’s wrong, but also what has to be done to do things the right way.
Fire your employees and hide from them the reason for their dismissal. (IF YOU WANT TO FIRE ME FOR MOE I”LL TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THAT BUT I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THE REFERRAL NO EFFORT EXCUSE)
Undertake any endeavor without sufficient planning.
Neglect to provide continuous feedback about their work. (WHERE IS MY CONTINUOUS FEEDBACK?!? HOW DO I MAKE THAT SUCESSFUL REFERRAL? IF YOU KNOW WHAT I AM MISSING TELL ME!!! TELL ME SO I CAN IMPROVE!!! DON’T TELL ME WHAT I ALREADY KNOW. I KNOW I HAVENT MADE ANY NON-FAMILY NON-WALK-IN I WANT AN ACCOUNT REFERRALS)Waiting for an annual/biannual performance appraisal may not allow them to hone their skills and work on their negative aspects.
Neglect to follow up on delegated tasks. You are after all, responsible for seeing that they get done.
Deny your employees the basic (and not-so-basic) tools and gadgets needed to do their work efficiently. IT department heads are notorious for asking their employees to “get by” with the software they have presently, deeming an upgrade unnecessary. (How can I say with confidence to my customers, yes MINE because I deal with them everyday, when I don’t believe it or know it to be a fact?! And NO I will not lie to just give the branch referral credits I HAVE MORAL STANDARDS)
Base appraisal decisions on very recent performances. Take their overall service to the organization into account.
Suck up to your employees when you’re short-staffed or be arrogant with them when you don’t really care if they quit or not.
Snoop around your employees’ desks and personal paraphernalia.
WHAT MANAGERS DO THAT I ONLY CAN WISH YOU WOULD DO:
Take your employees into confidence in all issues that relate to them or the work they do. You’ll find that people work better when they have a sense of understanding and purpose to the job at hand.
Give your employees room to grow, both personally and professionally.
Practice what you preach. Don’t say one thing and do the exact opposite. If you expect your employees to be punctual, you have to make an effort to watch the clock too.
Invest time and effort in your people. You cannot run the show on your own. Nurture them, motivate them, and coax their best work out of them.
Be ethical in all your dealings.
Set standards for your employees to follow. You are their leader; what you do sets the precedent for them to follow.
Focus more on the strengths of your employees, not their weaknesses. The more you get them to improve their strengths, the more their weaknesses fade into the background.
Turn a blind eye at times to goings-on that are inconsequential to the work at hand. Ignorance is bliss sometimes.
Manager or no manager you respect people and never put them below you. Common decency is expected.
It’s rare that problems between managers and employees are caused by only one party. Think about it: What’s the likelihood that the employee was responsible for 100 percent of the performance issue? Almost always, ALWAYS the manager bears some responsibility. It may not always be 50/50, but leaders need to hold up the mirror and see how they have contributed to the situation. Before you place all the blame on the employee, consider the following:
•Have I provided both direction and support to this employee?
•Have I provided the tools and resources to allow this employee to be successful?
•Have I provided specific outcomes and results I’m looking for?
•Have I created an environment that promotes the behaviors I’m looking for?
•Have I tried positive consequences first, before negative or punitive actions?
Monday, February 22, 2010
A fresh pitch on 'U' tube
WOW
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The following appeared on Boston.com:
Headline: A fresh pitch on 'U' tube
Date: Feb 22, 2010
"Amelia Downs performs a series of dorky dance moves named after math terms like the scatter plot and the bar graph. Sam Zuckert plays a song made solely from the sounds of a piece of paper ripping, crumpling, and waving in the wind. And then there's Mike Klinker, using a remote control to fly a Styrofoam elephant - with his ..."
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To see this recommendation, click on the link below or cut and paste it
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Sunday, February 21, 2010
2/20/2010 Comcast Installed
DAY 1
Bundled package 99.99 for internet, phone, tv
including basic package and starz one digital hd box free
Problem:
comcast didnt tell me about "Porting" phone numbers ...aka what needs to be done to keep you old number had to hear about it from the Comcast Installation Tech dude
Problem 2:
only get basic channels on all tvs except for the one with the free hd cable box (why didnt they tell me this in the beginning?) and any additional cable boxes for addtional tvs are 9.99/mo/box
okay....i go get a new computer (because silly me i thought i had high speed internet)
so i splurge on a
Costco Deal 899.99
HP Desktop P6367c
intel core quad pc q8300
2.50GHZ 2.50 GHZ
8.00 GB 64-bit OS
Windows 7 Home premium
25" monitor!!!! <3>for some reason comcast is (almost always) experiencing a high call volume...(because you know they have a lot of unhappy customers) and when you Comcast please reserve 2-4 hours in advance, have some snacks ready, spider solitare running and be prepared to be...
disconnected, plugged in to the machine to punch in your phone number, hear pre-recorded garden solutions and messages before listening to elevator music, being hung up on and being transffered so much that the customer service assoicate at the end of the line can no longer hear you over the line because of the number of transfers
this is how much comcast customer service still sucks
DAY 2
2/21/2010
Home Network is up 3 pcs are online and surfing the internet and once again sharing a printer (all three computers are plugged in aka NOT WIRELESS)
PROBLEM:
in the course of 11am-6pm the cable modem will disconnect/drop connection/timeout 3-4 times and take another power cycle (requiring about 40min of plugging and unplugging wires and powering on and off computers and connections) calls to Comcast are hopeless because it may take an hour to reach a person and maybe 2 hours before you get a person who knows something besides the script they're supposed to read off of
this is a problem with high speed internet because i'm paying for 24/7 internet service so i can do online bill pay, online gaming, watchnig online episodes, etc whenever i want
i dont need to pay $100.00 for internet (its actually slower than verizon FIOS) that only works sporatically
Comcast
Bundled package 99.99 for internet, phone, tv
including basic package and starz one digital hd box free
Problem:
comcast didnt tell me about "Porting" phone numbers ...aka what needs to be done to keep you old number had to hear about it from the Comcast Installation Tech dude
Problem 2:
only get basic channels on all tvs except for the one with the free hd cable box (why didnt they tell me this in the beginning?) and any additional cable boxes for addtional tvs are 9.99/mo/box
okay....i go get a new computer (because silly me i thought i had high speed internet)
so i splurge on a
Costco Deal 899.99
HP Desktop P6367c
intel core quad pc q8300
2.50GHZ 2.50 GHZ
8.00 GB 64-bit OS
Windows 7 Home premium
25" monitor!!!! <3>for some reason comcast is (almost always) experiencing a high call volume...(because you know they have a lot of unhappy customers) and when you Comcast please reserve 2-4 hours in advance, have some snacks ready, spider solitare running and be prepared to be...
disconnected, plugged in to the machine to punch in your phone number, hear pre-recorded garden solutions and messages before listening to elevator music, being hung up on and being transffered so much that the customer service assoicate at the end of the line can no longer hear you over the line because of the number of transfers
this is how much comcast customer service still sucks
DAY 2
2/21/2010
Home Network is up 3 pcs are online and surfing the internet and once again sharing a printer (all three computers are plugged in aka NOT WIRELESS)
PROBLEM:
in the course of 11am-6pm the cable modem will disconnect/drop connection/timeout 3-4 times and take another power cycle (requiring about 40min of plugging and unplugging wires and powering on and off computers and connections) calls to Comcast are hopeless because it may take an hour to reach a person and maybe 2 hours before you get a person who knows something besides the script they're supposed to read off of
this is a problem with high speed internet because i'm paying for 24/7 internet service so i can do online bill pay, online gaming, watchnig online episodes, etc whenever i want
i dont need to pay $100.00 for internet (its actually slower than verizon FIOS) that only works sporatically
Comcast
Friday, February 12, 2010
a bank robbery at Brookline Savings Bank at 43 Lincoln Street in Newton Highlands at approximately 2 p.m.
Lt. Bruce Apotheker said a 6-foot, 200-pound black man wearing a Red Sox cap, dark colored jacket and blue jeans entered the bank and passed a note to a teller demanding money. No weapon was shown, but the man was given an undetermined amount of cash and fled the bank down Lincoln Street.
The man apparently turned down Columbus Avenue and lost some of the cash, Apotheker said. A dye pack put in with the man's sack of money exploded, and employees at neighboring 51 Lincoln reported seeing purple-colored bills fluttering around the street. Police recovered the money.
Lt. Bruce Apotheker said a 6-foot, 200-pound black man wearing a Red Sox cap, dark colored jacket and blue jeans entered the bank and passed a note to a teller demanding money. No weapon was shown, but the man was given an undetermined amount of cash and fled the bank down Lincoln Street.
The man apparently turned down Columbus Avenue and lost some of the cash, Apotheker said. A dye pack put in with the man's sack of money exploded, and employees at neighboring 51 Lincoln reported seeing purple-colored bills fluttering around the street. Police recovered the money.
Monday, February 8, 2010
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